When it comes to relationships:
A man has one great desire….to desire his woman….
A woman has one great desire…to be desired by her man……
Sounds like a simple concept doesn’t it?
Controversial? I can see how that could happen.
Not believed? I can also see how that could come about.
But how about you give me a minute? I think I have an answer to a mystery here, but you have to walk with me a few steps….
We tend as a species, to be slightly opposite from the animal kingdom (I say slightly because it is not always the case, but predominantly so). In the animal kingdom, it is the male who usually performs the outlandish attention getting schemes and presents himself in all of his colorful and outrageous glory toward the targeted female. Now it is God’s nature in this design remember that. God’s nature. He put all of himself in everything he created.
In the human species, however, it is the female who, however subtle and crafted, attracts the attention of her male counterparts.
Agreed, human males are also known to strut their stuff in various ways, i.e, that six figure job, that red sports car, those amazing physical skills.
But ascetically, it is the woman who tends to please the eye more (men are slightly more visual in nature than women are)
It is the woman who primps her hair (for hours on end)
It is the woman who buys the shapely and figure flattering fabrics.
It is the woman who falls smitten and embarrassingly pesky.
It is the woman who paints her face with outrageous tones.
It is the woman who plans from girlhood her wedding day to prince charming.
You get where I’m going……
So with this in mind, let’s just dance briefly through a typical courtship:
She displays her feathers in all of their glory (like the male peacock in the animal world). He does a double take. She persists, with phone calls and “unexpected” encounters (yes, I know we’re pitiful), or purposeful ignoring (yes, guys we do that too). Her every purchase and every thought is done with his observance in mind. Every clever thought, action, and kindness seems less rewarding without him there to impress. She hangs on his every word, and aches when he isn’t around. And an amazing thing happens…he feels all of these vibes and vibrates right back all of his amazingness into her world… and so is the enchantment of a love affair!
It’s how we are wired, the woman to be desired, the man to desire. It’s how God designed us.
Want to know how I know?
Watch your relationship. Are things a little dull? The touching not so frequent? The pizzazz seeming to wane at times? When this happens we tend to blame each other: He’s not making me feel like a woman. He’s too brash, not attentive and taking me for granted. She’s not giving me what I need, She used to be so sexy and so admiring of me, she doesn’t back me up.
Here’s the deal. Why did it stop? (talking to the ladies now)….When did you stop feeling sexy? Desirable? Did you know you can’t get into romance or sex if you don’t feel sexy? It’s true! Women have to feel sexy, desirable, and brilliant (there is a whole lot more to being desirable than looks by the way) – measuring up to her own standards first! Desirable, not just to her mate, but to everyone else (Of course only your mate gets what you have, but you still have to feel that it would be worthy of anyone). When you let yourself get run down…(don’t take care of your hair, don’t take care of your priorities, convictions, and beliefs….how can you expect someone else to admire you if you don’t even admire yourself?), is when you will notice things aren’t quite as bright as they used to be in your relationship. So get cracking and start feeling sexy again! (You know you’d do it if you were in a new relationship). Observe all of these things and tell me if I am wrong.
And guys? Did you leave your dreams at the door? Drop them off in a knapsack when you said “I do?” What’s up with that? Your woman’s best asset is to get behind you and to believe along with you- to strengthen you. To stand behind you and be freaking, stomping, proud of you and the things you have, and will, accomplish! And when did you stop telling her that her eyes are a beautiful array of various colors? (they still are aren’t they?), a little compliment to a woman goes miles and miles (remember this is our greatest desire- to be desired, and your greatest desire is to desire your woman!), and why do you keep telling her there isn’t enough money for a hair style, lingerie, or a new dress? Give a little on a few of these cosmetic extras and watch her self esteem soar and your bedroom sizzle up! (girls don’t go overboard when finances are an issue, it doesn’t take much to look better).
Observe, and tell me if I am wrong!