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Archive for the ‘family’ Category

Get With A Man…

1. Who You Respect
2. Who Respects You
3. Who Is Grown Up and Responsible
4. Who Has A Family That Respects You And You Can Get Along With.
5. Who Has Proven His Love For You.

If someone had handed me this list and the following article in my late teens or early twenties, would I have taken it to heart? Would I have listened to the fifty-something author who poured her heart out with conviction and sincerity? Would I have believed her, or would I have perceived her as demanding, spoiled, entitled, or selfish? The honest answer is that I do not know. I do not know if I would have listened. I do know, however, that my younger self didn’t look very deeply to her own needs. I know she used to do just about anything in the name of love and goodness to make her relationships better. But rarely did that anything include preserving her genuine needs, and own self-worth.

But there is good reason for this. She never had a Father speak these things into her life. Nor did he teach her of her value as a woman, nor helped her know what to expect from a healthy man in a healthy relationship. And she never had a Mother who modeled these expectations.

And that is why I am writing these things today. Because there are many women, young and old who might need such a list; who maybe never had it modeled or taught. And I am writing it because I have a single daughter. She means the world to me, need I say more? I am writing it because I am in my second marriage and it has taken me this long to understand how imperative certain things are for a healthy relationship. It is not wrong or selfish to ask for and expect these things from the men we marry or get into relationship with. In fact, I have come to learn that it is detrimental to both the man and the woman in the relationship if we do not ask for, expect, and uphold these things.

So without further ado, let me flesh out some of the things that I have learned.

Get With A Man….

.…Who You Respect.

Why are you looking at his handsome face? Why are you looking at the way his body moves? Why are you melting over those flattering words or the way your heart skips a beat when he looks at you? Don’t you know the art of courting and seduction has been going on for thousands of years and it will continue the same way until the end of time? Those kinds of things are a dime a dozen. The wise woman will study a man’s character, plain and simple. And study him for more than a New York minute. Study him for a good while and in various circumstances. The wise woman will look at a man’s potential. He doesn’t have to be perfect, but he sure better have potential. Potential to be kind, fair, honest, hardworking, responsible….all of those things you need a man to be. And we’ll cover some of those later.

Knowing yourself is key. Because you have to know what you respect and what you don’t in the first place. When we are young most of these ideals are already formed inside us, but many of us don’t understand that we can, and should, protect them and assert them in all of our relationships.

When you know what you respect, then you know what to look for. Many of us older lovers have learned the hard way that there is really no use in trying to coerce, or mold or bend someone into being what we want. It never works. You are better off finding someone whom you respect in the first place, and with potential, instead of setting yourself up to the difficult and impossible task of trying to change another human being. And really, it is kinder to them as well if you just let the wrong ones go instead of subjecting them to your anxious dissatisfaction.

Find someone who matches you intellectually and spiritually. Someone at least in your ball park. It’s even better if you genuinely think they are a little smarter or wiser than you in certain areas. This will fuel your respect and admiration- two things that can’t be borrowed or bought. Invaluable. Look for it.

Find someone whom you know you can talk to. Someone who can carry an interesting conversation and bring interesting perspective. True, some people don’t like to talk hardly at all, and if you are down with that and that is what you want, then I guess you had better find someone who is really okay with that, and wants that as well. But most of us want someone we can have meaningful conversation with. Look for someone who you know you can live a half to three quarters of a century with, and whom you will never become bored with because of their lack of depth. Important. Think about it. This is supposed to be forever, right?

Look at someone who has earned your loyalty, admiration, respect, affections, and love. And I mean earned. That, more than anything else, is going to matter to a woman the most in the long run and will also set precedent for the level of a man’s respect or disrespect toward you. Don’t be afraid to set the bar high. If he can’t jump it, he’s not worth it, trust me. You don’t always want to be guessing throughout your relationship if he really would have gone the distance for you. You want to know this upfront. You really do want to test him on this. You are a fool not to. I speak from experience.

Can you get down with his beliefs, his convictions, his dreams, his goals? Do you have common interests? Don’t underestimate the importance of this. This is the person you will be spending most of your time with. You’d better have at least 70-80 percent of the same interests and ideals. Do you truly admire him? Do you truly respect who he is as a person? Does he have skills and talents that you admire? What personality traits do you admire? What gets you excited? Is he an innovator, for instance, or a man who takes action? Do other men respect him? What is important to you? Do you find yourself a natural cheerleader for him, or does he have to force that out of you? Do you have to force it out of yourself? If you do then why are you in this relationship, girl? Do him a favor, move on.

I think there are universal needs that we have collectively as women and we need to learn to recognize, acknowledge, and accept what those needs are. But equally true is the fact that we also have individual preferences that we desire in a man. We won’t all want or need the same things. For instance, I have recently come to realize that I really want a man who isn’t on Facebook and will never get on Facebook, but has an impressive and bustling personal life. Quirky, huh? I have my reasons for this. They are solid and they are all my own. Another high preference of mine is a man who is as honest as the day is long. Just a deep need of mine. And a man who never stops mining for, and applying, spiritual truths in his life. Know who you are. Know what you need. Try not to settle ladies. Try very hard not to settle.

Get with a man who you can respect. Because when the chips are down and shaky ground finds its way into your union, it is your respect for him that is going to carry you both through and strengthen, not weaken, your relationship.

….Who Respects You.

You can feel his respect. Your inner being knows if he respects you or not. Trust it.

Does he value your opinions? Seek your advice? Take your advice? Is he impressed with how you live your life? Does he admire your values and believe in your character? You have to know these things. Don’t get with someone who does not.

If he hits or shoves you- even one time- he does not respect you. And it WILL happen again Trust me. Again, I speak from experience.

If you are not willing to have sex with him before marriage, will he still be there a few months or years down the road? Does he genuinely just like being with you enough to hang around? Does he love you enough to wait? Do you think it is asking too much of a man? It is not. In the Bible there was a man named Jacob and he loved a woman named Rachel. He offered to work for her Father seven years for her hand in marriage. The Bible tells us that Jacob’s love for Rachel was so strong that “Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her!” Honestly, if he loves you, he will wait.

He will hear your needs and work with you to meet them. He will be willing to talk things out with you. He will want to help and be “active” in his listening. He will validate your feelings and not write you off as an emotional female simply because he cannot deal with the depth your feelings bring. He is tender toward you in your distress because he adores you through and through. You are worthy of his undivided attention, just as he is worthy of yours, and you will not have to beg him for it in times of need.

He lifts you up with his words, instead of putting you down, both in private and in public. If he does not do this, he does not respect you. Remember, you deserve a man who respects you. And you had better always give him the same courtesy.

He will respect your boundaries. Do not appreciate his coming into the bathroom while you are using it? Then he won’t come in there, period. Need some space with your girlfriends? He won’t call you on the phone every hour. Don’t like to talk in a vulgar way about your previous love-making session? Then he will not. Don’t want him to brag to his friends about your sacred sex life? Then he won’t. The list goes on. You know your boundaries. Expect them to be respected. Assert them.

He will not bully you outwardly, nor will he bully you in a passive-aggressive manner. Both bring their own kind of heartache and are equally destructive. Watch for this while you are getting to know someone. If you are not too emotionally entangled with a person, these traits are not hard to spot. Thus why it is best not to give away your affections to a man who has not yet earned them.

He will expect his family and friends to respect you. Realize they will always follow his lead. If they see him disrespect you, this gives them license to disrespect you as well, and they will. It doesn’t matter if they are his parents, his siblings, or his children. He will protect you, and back you up in front of them. Especially when you are being upright, honorable, good, and kind.

Get with a man who you know will respect you. It will save you a lifetime of heartache.

…. Who Is Grown Up and Responsible.

You want a man who wants to lead and knows how to lead. Not a man whom you have to lead. Not a man whom you have to pull along. You will know him by the initiative and innovation he displays when he is still merely a ‘friend.’ Don’t be deceived. He won’t change once you get into a relationship with him- not long-term change anyway. You need to know that he will be a courageous leader, and a self-starter. Someone who will sit down with you and map out a plan for your family and will follow through with the plans you have made together. He keeps his promises by following up with what he said he would do. If you have found that he is someone you respect because you believe in him as a person, then you will be able to get under his leadership and let him lead. If you are in a relationship with someone whom you do not trust or respect then it will be very hard for you to get underneath his leadership. That is why I put that you should get with a man whom you can respect as #1, because everything else in your relationship depends on it.

Get with someone who doesn’t need a Mother. Look at his house. Is he clean? Is he organized? Does he get himself up for work on time? Does he pick up his clothes? Does he leave little unorganized piles of “stuff” in every room? Does he get the garbage to the curb on time? Is his garage organized? Are you okay with this? If you are not, better look at it. How big of a deal is it to you? Remember, he is not going to change to any great degree, so are you prepared to be a Mother to a man who needs one in order for your home to run properly? Now I am not saying he has to be perfect. But this comes down to you. You need to know what you can and cannot live with. You have to know what you are willing to overlook and what you know will drive you crazy. Keep your eyes open and figure out his mental age. Then figure out if you can live with someone that age.

Do you see him living out the beliefs he claims, or is he a man of many words, but little action? Actions always speak louder than words. And you want a man whose actions have a positive, not a negative, effect. Remember that men have an interesting effect on women. It is their actions that make us feel either secure or insecure. When a woman feels insecure she invariably uses more words. That’s how it works. When she feels secure in her relationship, she uses less words. Get with a man whose actions make you use less words, not more. Whose actions make you shed less tears, not more. Whose actions inspire you to be the very best woman you can be.

Get with a man who is not physically or emotionally lazy. He will put in the work to make your communication and understanding better and he will put in the work to provide for you.

Yes, he is the one who needs to provide. Old fashioned, I know. But it is God’s design. “But if any man does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). That doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t help out financially when needed. But what it does mean is that he carries the bulk of the responsibility in this area. When he honors this responsibility, it frees you up to be a better homemaker and a better helpmate. He does not have to be rich, and shame on you if you are looking for a rich man. But you do want a man who works an honest day for an honest dollar to provide for the ones he loves. A man who may not be rich, but wants to give you everything you need and even some of the things you want. He may not always be able to achieve this, but he should certainly want to in his heart. You should feel that and love him for it.

A mature man will not turn arguments around on you unfairly. He won’t make you feel crazy or tempt you to second guess what is true. He will not call you (or perceive you as) crazy when you are honestly working through feelings and issues. He will deal with them head on the same way you do and will not take detours or try to unbalance sanity in difficult times. Men who do this do not respect women. You know what it looks like. You know it when you see it. A little of this is too much. A lot of it should be a huge red flag. Respect yourself. Trust yourself. Walk away if he consistently shows spiritual immaturity in this manner.

….Who Has A Family That Respects You And You Can Get Along With.

We touched on this a bit earlier. A man sets the tone for how his family views you. Unless of course you are an evil woman who has pulled the wool over his eyes and his family sees what he does not. In that case, you are on your own and you won’t get any help from me. I’m assuming that only good-hearted and well-intentioned women are reading this blog. That’s who it is written for and that is who I am addressing.

Here’s the deal ladies: When you marry a man, you do indeed marry his family. Better make sure you can get along with them. I actually believe now that if you do not get along with a man’s family right from the get-go (after the first few awkward weeks or months of course), it is pretty tell-tale as to how difficult your marriage is going to be and possibly even how unsuited the two of you may be. And unless his family are all evil and he is the only good one of the lot (and that can happen!), they will actually know him better than you. They will have known him longer and can probably discern better what is best for him. This goes for his closest friends as well. They, too, are family. Pay attention to them. Learn a lesson from them. And, honestly, bow out if you have to. Know, too, that if they are treating you with the nasty, it will probably not be too long before he starts showing you his nasty side as well. They are kin after all. And we are products of our raising. Of all the things you might take my advice on, this one will probably be the hardest to swallow. I’m just telling you, I’ve been in two marriages, and seen a lot sister. I’m just sayin.’ Take it or leave it.

And last, but not least get with a man….

….Who Has Proven His Love For You.

Don’t get with a man who you think loves you. Don’t get with a man who you believe will prove his love for you when the time comes. Just don’t do it. Get with a man who HAS proven his love for you. Get with a man who has and is willing to prove his love for you along the way. And here is why.

#1. You deserve to know absolutely that he loves you. You deserve proof. You are worth that.

#2. Men talk a lot of talk. Men are good at sweet talking women. Men are good at getting the girl these days mainly because it is so easy. You make it easy. You make it easy because you fancy yourself in love and you do not want to lose him. But don’t you realize you are much better off without a man who doesn’t really love you back? If he loves you, he will be more than willing to prove it. This is how you will know he loves you. A man who doesn’t genuinely love you will drop out of the race. Why would any man want to do all of the things we have discussed? It’s an awful lot to ask of any man don’t you think? And believe me, he won’t UNLESS he loves you. Only love can make a man strive to give you the assurances you know in your heart that you need. If he can’t or won’t do the things above, then please hear me on this- he does not love you. Put these things to the test. Love will bear them out.

#3. If he doesn’t have to earn it, he will never really honor it. Men are just like that. They have to work for something to really appreciate it and attach value to it. Don’t deprive them of this. It has been said that “it is a man’s job to respect a woman, but it is a woman’s job to give him something to respect.” Truer words were never spoken. Give him something to respect by giving him the opportunity to prove his love.

Get with a man who finds you attractive and desirable in every way. Don’t get with a man who makes you a possible second runner up for his love. Never be content to be with a man who “settled” for you. It has also been said: “When someone treats you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation.” It’s that simple. Expect the very best from a man, never seconds my lovely. Because you are too damn lovely. Don’t ever believe for a minute that you aren’t worth more. There are, in fact, good men out there who will love just you, and all of you, and will wait for you, and will put in the effort for you. Get with those men. Well, ideally, just one of those men. 🙂 Leave behind the ones who are not worthy. Learn your worth.

I may not have had a Daddy to teach me my worth and I may have had to wade through time, experience, and much heartache before I finally chose to listen to, and believe, the voice my heavenly Father was whispering in my ear all of those long and difficult years. And I did, eventually, get the message. I did, eventually, learn. So now I am telling you the same thing with loads of love. Be wise in choosing who you settle down with. Take your time and make a good choice. You deserve that.

Remember nobody is perfect. And you WILL have to leave room for compromise and patience. Even the greatest guys are going to bring you heartache from time to time and you have to learn to roll with the punches (but not real punches). Men and women are different with different expectations and different needs. But if he loves you, he will be willing to prove it the way you need him to prove it. And once you know he loves you and has your best interests at heart, you have a better chance at overall contentment together even through the difficult times.

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Women- started off as little girls. butterfly

Who played with the boys
sometimes in the mud.
And tramped through the forest in their back yards
and built forts by the stream.
And rode on stallions with the best of them.
Defending the kingdom and rescuing prisoners
From the evil lords.

Yes, all women started off as little girls.

I have a heart for women. I have a heart for North American women aged 20 through 90. There is a collective, continental cry that is so profound in its sorrow, it becomes inaudible, and is scarcely heard at all. And yet this cry is so cumulative, so united, and so thorough in its sweeping of this demographic that I’m surprised at the oppression of its sound.
I think the silence is due to the women themselves. I don’t think women are even aware of one of their deepest needs. One of the North American woman’s deepest needs is to be wild like a flower. And for me, it is the most delightful thing on the planet to see a woman who has allowed herself to become a Wild Flower.

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We have a history. It begins around age twenty. We learn very quickly to leave the outdoors behind. We must forget about alcoves under aspen trees, picking our way across rocks in the stream, and leisurely reading books in the grass. We simply cannot drop everything and run out to build forts with the boys anymore. We have babies to hold, and change, and feed. We have meals to cook, and houses to clean. And at the end of the day when exhaustion sets in, we have sex to be delivered on demand like a vending machine. What we once enjoyed now becomes a chore when it is not coupled with conversation, compassion, camaraderie, and help in the kitchen.
The “boys” are still out hunting, riding motorcycles, monster trucking, poker playing, hiking, and diving into swimming holes. Insult is added to injury when our children complain that we are not any fun at all, and that with Daddy is the preferred place to be, while we are left at home with mounds of laundry still to finish.

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And what do women do? We stop looking for adventure. We replace our deepest need with shopping sprees, girls nights out, jewelry, the finest furniture our money can buy, the nicest car in the neighborhood, a rich husband, status in the community, our children’s apparent success, the fancy dishes that we serve, and our pretty clothes. And yet we are empty inside and we don’t know why. When really all we needed was one good sturdy bike and the courage to use it.
The courage to ride it every day to the market and buy fresh vegetables. The courage to plop it down by the river with our baby in his pack on our back, and our book to read. The courage to sink our toes in the grass. The courage to leave the dishes in the sink and not worry what the other women might think. The courage to dig our own gardens and sow our own seed. The courage to take a road trip with our friends and babies in tow. The courage to scale any mountain at any time of year. The courage to wear hippie clothes and build fires on the beach. The courage to visit the coffee shop daily and visit with the old timers in town. The courage to lie in a meadow with butterflies floating all around. The courage to be intentional about getting out in nature every single day, so that we DO NOT LOSE OUR CENTER. You can point to a thousand things that center us- meditation, prayer, reading good material, etc, but all of these lose their greatest potential for the greatest good when we fail to find time out in nature.

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You see, we were placed in the garden of Eden initially. We were not placed in a concrete sea. In fact cities were not anywhere to be found. That is not what God created for us. He created for us trees, and grass, and wind, and flowers, and animals, and rivers, and clouds, and sky instead. Why? Because He knows what is best for us. He knows where and how we will thrive.
And yet, we have come so far away. So far away from what we were created to be. We are children of the earth… and we are wandering around in shopping malls. We are lost. We are sad.
Before the industrial revolution Mommies and Daddies stayed on the farms and worked the land as a family unit. Babies were on backs, children were dropping corn into the rows, Mama was hauling water from the creek, and Papa was holding the reins on the plow horse. Everyone was in stellar shape and soaking up the sun. Then the factories took Daddies away, and eventually even the Mommies too. And Mommy traded her life in nature for a life indoors in a grand house, with a grand scheme to make her grand house even grander, and without even noticing it she became a slave to this endeavor, and very sad on the inside.
And so the cry. The silent cry. A cry strong enough to change white fluffy clouds into grey. And all across the nation I hear this cry every day.

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So I have started the ministry Wild Flowers. I want to reach out to women and offer them fun outdoor things to do together. I want to offer outdoor church on the beach for those who are interested (Once we relocate. Ask me privately where we are going and why we have chosen this spot if you like). I want to rescue young Moms especially who look like they need a little good, clean adventure in their lives. I’m interested in older lonely women who need a bigger purpose in their lives. For all who would appreciate daily hikes, bike rides, lifestyle changes, encouragement, and camaraderie in our quest to come alive again and to become comfortable in the outdoors often, with the wind on our face. And kudos to all of the courageous women out there who are already Wild Flowers and don’t need my encouragement at all. How you have inspired me!!
There is so much more to say, this is just the beginning!
Like how about becoming the catalyst for a Wild Flowers group in your area?

There is so much more to say AND DO, this is just the beginning!

Come and join my Wild Flowers group on Facebook. It is a group for women who already are, or would like to become, Wild Flowers and the men who support this lifestlye.  CLICK HERE: Wild Flowers group on Facebook

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Struggle.  It’s been a struggle.  Married to an American in 2007.  A Floridian American.  Three thousand miles away from my homeland.

It’s been an insane sort of clawing- Leopard’s tracks in frenzied zigzag pattern through the jungle.  Singular in quest to reach her cubs.

And in blessed visit we landed finally at Kelowna, British Columbia.  Babies gathered to breast at last.  Divine intervention prevented me from crossing the border to travel back to the USA and down long sky to Florida.  And my husband’s holy sacrifice led to a whole eighteen months of rich relationship building between a generous and compassionate step father and curious, brave, and courageous step children.

He sacrificed at the border when they turned me away.  Prevented me from going back with him.

“Her paper work needs to be complete.  She will not get into country without Visa in hand.”   (!!!)

So he left it all.

-rewarding job

-beautiful home

-grown offspring

-rich, life-long friendships

“I can’t tell you how many marriages end right here at the border” the border guard said later.  “This is where they part.  Husband goes back to his life in the USA and wife remains in Canada.  Marriage dissolved right here.  End of story.”

Not this marriage.  Not this hero.  Not this time, Mr. Border Patrol- Mr.” I am immigration!”

It was a hard year, but siblings and their families opened homes and hearts to us.  And my children?  I couldn’t have been more proud.  How generously they made room for this new man in their life.    How willingly they gave their hearts and their trust.  Purposefully sharing their homes and spouses.

Our story -theirs and mine- had been a heart-wrenching one.  The harmony in our home had been shattered five years earlier.  This stay-at-home Mom who nursed every ill and championed every event was no longer in the home.  Ripped away too early.  Their raising incomplete- final chapters left unwritten and unresolved.  Questions.  Rumors.  The reasons- the answers- didn’t matter.  Only emptiness and ache remained.

(more…)

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Lots going on this year! Finally being able to garden being one of the highlights…Close proximity to family another!

—————–>CLICK HERE FOR SLIDESHOW<——————

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We were nine and she was a machine.

One week’s- sometimes two week’s worth of clothing, but she had no fear.

Three or four of us trailed behind while she heaved bag after bag upon her shoulder and up to the commercial washers.

I cringed as she started pulling out the filth (sand went flying with the unfurling of smelly socks).

I went into cardiac arrest when she unabashedly held up Dad’s bright red union suit,  (a.k.a full-length long johns), complete with flap in the back, buttoned in one corner and the other corner dangling to expose an all- too- real visual of my father’s derriere.  WHY, in the name of all that’s decent, did she examine them with outstretched arms, turning them this way and that before finally (after what seemed like an eternity) flinging them into the circular tub?

Was she aware that underneath the fresh green grass stains on the boy’s jeans, still lingered grass stains three washes old?  I asked myself why she bothered.

Bothering was one thing.  Making me participate in the spectacle was a senseless cruelty I couldn’t understand or accept.

Head down, face scowling, I never knew where to stand or stare.  Falling into a deep well of embarrassment, I was clawing the walls, never able to climb out.  I knew, with the certainty of a hot faced eleven year old, that every mouth in the laundromat was dropped and gaping in shock and terror at what this tiny woman from the mountains drug in.

We were nine.  Seven children, two parents, and never less than seven bags of the dirtiest garments that were ever slapped down in a public wash house.

We lived a hard life in the remotest part of the mountain with our males as wild as the terrain they wandered.  Humble, as they were, cleanliness was never in their thought process. Nor, quite frankly, was it ever within their grasp.  We slept outside, or in a large green army tent and even the girls raced an uphill battle against dirt floors, muddy river beds, and smokey campfire lights.

I was afraid to breathe.  I busied myself supervising my younger sister, trying desperately to keep her out of the space of the other patrons.  I didn’t possess the wisdom to know that I was drawing even more attention to our family than had I just let her be.

I could play in happy forgetfulness with my siblings until my eyes caught a glimpse of any one of our four large dryers.  Then I would get a sickening feeling in my gut and fly into fretful panic.  They had been washed, but you would never know it.

Everyone else’s laundry was tumbling in joyful rhythm and I swore I could hear the pristine whites singing in unison with the fluffy towels that looked like they just floated out of a Sears store.

Not so the four dryers on the end.

Mama pulled out the thin, tattered towels and tried to find a straight edge to match up with another straight edge to no avail.  And as our gruesome gray-white socks continued to bounce up against the heated glass, I was constantly trying to will them to the back of the drum.

When Mama called me to help with the folding, I whined and hissed quietly under my breath.  Oh the monotony of those folds!  In the stifling heat of a building with no air conditioning, even the doors, flung wide open, offered little relief.

Laundry days were, without a doubt, one of the great tragedies of my youth.  But in retrospect, they were also one of the richest experiences of my life!

She was a machine.  I just didn’t get that back then.  Every ten days or so, like clock work, she showed up with half of her children in tow and did, without complaint or scorn, what she had to do.  She didn’t have a choice in the matter. If she loved us (and she did), she would see to it that we had “clean” clothes.

Funny thing, I love doing laundry today.  It is a very complete therapy for me.  I learned to press through the bad and find the rainbow at the end of it. Beautiful little mystery there…some of us can relate that to dish washing as well.

I learned patience, compassion, diligence (sticking to a job until its done) and creativity. Eventually, I learned to hold my head up high and not worry about what other people think.  In time I also came to understand that Mama had to bring me with her on laundry days to keep me safe.  It was extra work for her having us all there, but our well being was always more important than her work load.

I thank God for laundry days, memories that linger of laundry days, and above all, I thank God that I had the kind of Mother I did.

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Just don’t mess with him.

I’m not talking about steering clear of that 6’3”, 210 lb. frame, or sidestepping his blistering right hook that my husband swears will collapse a lung.  Nor am I alluding to the fact that at twenty- three he has jumped out of an airplane at 5,000 feet, hunted bear and venison with bow and carried them home on both horse and shoulder, hiked a 12,000 foot summit for the thrill of the conquer and the rush of her beauty, survived, with elation, a 75 foot drop from the steel arches of the city bridge, and floated like an eagle off cliffs 65 feet up before dropping like a bullet into the icy green waters below.

In his presence, I’d watch my words and my step if I had any inkling of what was good for me.

But for all that- that’s not why you don’t want to mess with him.

Before I approached  Jordan, I’d be more inclined to check my sincerity of heart.  I would examine very closely, motive.  And surrender to the better angels of your nature, giving yourself fully to genuine compassion.  Because he will demand this of you.  His spirit will demand this of your spirit.  And he will accept no less.

The greatest crime, the most grievous injustice, and the hugest disappointment that you can bring to Jordan (and the only reason for you to put a wide berth between yourself and him) is if you are foolish enough to bring a half truth or a watered- down love.

His piercing eyes will assess you while you speak.  He is gifted to discern the unseen with brilliant clarity at lightning speed.

And then he takes the high road.

It isn’t his nature to go looking for confrontation or a quarrel.  (In fact he’d rather be high on some mountain, sitting on his favorite rock, praying).  But in response to his Commander-In- Chief’s call to courage, this valiant gatekeeper challenges, then blocks, your smuggling of hypocrisy- or concedes, after careful inspection of the pure jewels you are carrying to the king, to let you pass.

Even though he is a man of great physical strength, his greatest glory lies in his yielding to the greatest strength in the universe.  The star of Truth, the absolutes of Faith, and the eternal wings of Love.

Proverbs 4: 5-13

5 Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or turn away from them.
6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.
7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Getwisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.
8 Cherish her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.
9 She will give you a garland to grace your head
and present you with a glorious crown.”

10 Listen, my son, accept what I say,
and the years of your life will be many.
11 I instruct you in the way of wisdom
and lead you along straight paths.
12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.
13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.

Proverbs 8: 10- 13

10 “Take my instruction and not silver,
And knowledge rather than choicest gold.
11 “For wisdom is better than jewels;
And all desirable things cannot compare with her.

12 “I, wisdom, dwell with prudence,
And I find knowledge and discretion.
13 “The fear of the Lord is to hate evil;
Pride and arrogance and the evil way.

I am proud of you son.  Continue in who you are and the calling on your life.

Remember the words the Lord gave to Joshua:

Joshua 1:  6-9

“Be strong and courageous ….Be strong and very courageous….. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

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