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Geared toward women over 30. But not just for women. Come On board by subscribing to my channel.

Not on FaceCrack anymore, so taking everything I am, and putting it all in one place! (besides this blog of course!) As I add new videos on the topics listed in this introductory video, it is my prayer you will find something that blesses you.

I feel the embers beginning to stir for blog writing again as well. The time is near. Nothing can be brought forth before it’s time. Always I am pregnant with story. But if the story is birthed before it’s time…If the birth is premature, the story will take a difficult road, and not be as helpful, or as productive. But soon. The Spirit of God is whispering….”soon now!”  Thank you all for staying with me and still signed up for my blog in your mail.

Meanwhile these videos will tell you a little bit about what I am up to.

How to know your life purpose. What is your purpose in life? Do you know? Until you find out what that is, and set about doing that purpose, you will never truly live. Use your God-given gifts to make a difference! Find your life purpose! Believe! Please Subscribe to my Channel 🙂

Some events, for me, drip with ink even before they come to a close. Woe that they should ever escape the pen. Tonight was such an event. And I barely know where to begin. So I’ll just start, ….at the beginning.

Firstly, I will tell you that I have always said, “If you weren’t surprised, then God didn’t show up.” Because you know how we roll, us Christian folks. We orchestrate, really well, the Holy Spirit and how He ought to function. Our Sunday services are especially predictable and we know how to corral Him in. We usually end up with a finished product lifeless in its finesse. But, hey, we did the deed and got the job done, there is no denying it. That is, until the Holy Spirit actually shows up. And everyone is….you guessed it…surprised! But when the Holy Spirit genuinely shows up, we are more than surprised, we are blown away.

So from the beginning, as promised.

I had allotted space for the Holy Spirit this evening and space for a little fun as well. Here’s how that looked: Our Friday night plan was an early dinner, then out to feed and minister to the homeless in the park and finally we’d close with some live music downtown. It’s a Friday night after all.

I must preface this with some information you may not know. We are called to minister to the homeless. But not just the homeless. We are called to minister to those that aren’t really down with traditional church. You know, the North American model. Not everyone is down with that. Some of us think it may need a little tweaking. Some of us see a slightly different model portrayed within the pages of the Bible. Some of us see traditional church as limiting and lacking in flexibility, creativity, and heart. Some of us believe that the church isn’t the building, but that the church is the people. And “wherever two or more are gathered there I am [Jesus/God] in the midst of them.” We also believe that a lot of great things happen within the walls of traditional church and many of our nearest and dearest go to traditional church. We see their incredible hearts, and the work they are doing and we applaud them. But we are called to the ones outside the “church.” The ones who the traditional church can’t quite relate to and sometimes display more justice than mercy; more doctrine than compassion; more fault-finding than understanding; more us-versus-them, than admission of the level playing field at the foot of the cross.

We’re not so sure Jesus sees it like that. Not so sure everything is that cut and dried. Not so sure we can wrap this worship thing up with a pretty bow, and present you a package. So God gave us a vision to work outside the parameters of the traditional church and to let Him lead us daily in this, and to let Him dictate how that pans out every day.

But honestly, I kinda had tonight all wrapped up. But it’s worse than that. I even tried to back out of our visit with our homeless friends.

The conversation went something like this:

“Ho! It’s too late now, Tim. It gets dark here by 8 pm. We won’t get there til 8. We won’t get out of the streets til nine thirty or ten, and all the live music will have ended or be close to ending. Our day is pretty wide open tomorrow. Why don’t we just do it then instead.”

In true Tim Morgan fashion, he nonchalantly replied, “No Mommy, I have it in my heart to stick to the plan. Come on, I want you with me. Everyone’s been asking about you.” (I’d been sick 2 solid weeks).

At this point, I had a choice to make and I’m happy to say that I made the right choice.

It was, in fact, dark and 8 p.m when we saw our friend Jimmy nodding off on his usual bench on the corner of Harrison and Beach Drive. I don’t suppose the good-hearted city folks who provided this bench had any idea that it was going to house the behind of such a gracious guest forever more.

When we first met with Jimmy several weeks back, Tim asked him,

“Why you not in the park with everyone else Jimmy?” (referring to the majority of the homeless in this town).

“I don’t go over there. Too much drama. I don’t need no drama. I steer away from it.”

Well, you gotta know that stole our hearts right from the get go.

Tim laughed, “Too much drama, what you talking about Jimmy, too much drama?  I understand Jimmy, I understand.” And truer, faster friends were never forged.

(These pictures were taken in the daytime at our first meeting with Jimmy).

IMG_20160627_191147 (2)IMG_20160627_191352_1CS (2)We began our usual visit with Jimmy and I knew how it was going to go down. We were going to have some laughs, we’d provide a snack and some water, we would preach a little Jesus, and hear about his family and his early days. The days when he wasn’t here….like this. We’d pray with him. Wish him well and depart for the park.

Everything was going as I suspected it might until they showed up. Walking right down the street like they stepped out of a limo. Her hair was perfect, of course. He had on a crisp blue shirt and as they looked at us, I was sure they were afraid. I could tell they didn’t know if maybe they shouldn’t cross to the other side of the street. But I was gonna help them out. I was going to be an example. I was going to show them how this thing is done. Maybe they’d catch the fire. Maybe they, too, would consider, then, treating the homeless like people in the future. I would greet them with the heartiest hello, and flash a lovely, confident smile.

“Howdy, folks! How are you all toni……..”

But before I could finish my pious greeting, she whisked past me and handed Jimmy a McDonald’s food bag and the charming gentleman gave him the complimentary soda.

“Oh”, he said as he looked at Tim sitting on the bench beside Jimmy, “There’s two of you. I’m sorry I only brought one.”

And there they were. Angels in a muggy city in the heat of the night. And respecting Tim’s already established rapport with Jimmy, worked in tandem with us to minister kindness and truth to Jimmy. Cindy and I talked quietly amongst ourselves concerning shower solutions for Jimmy. Al & Tim subtly extracted Jimmy’s pant size and persuaded him to at least consider a new jacket. His leather military jacket was no doubt a cherished treasure. But most of the back was torn away and the arms were almost equally disheveled. Keep in mind it is often 100 degree heat here and he wears it almost all the time!

“We want to help,” Al pleaded afterward in private. “We want to be a part of what you are doing.” Cindy shed tears. “To see my husband like this, to see him take to this, it is an answer to prayer. I have been praying for years that Al would find a place in ministry. He has been so turned off church. Meeting you both tonight, I cannot tell you what this means to both of us.”

We had reason of our own to rejoice. Even before we arrived here, we had been praying that God would send the right people to work with us. People with hearts for something a little different. People who loved HIM. People with vision and compassion. We stood out on the street for a long time, chatting, exchanging philosophies, ideas, and phone numbers.

Now, you tell me. What are the odds of this couple showing up just around the same time we did in order to minister to this beautiful man? Can you imagine if Tim had listened to my logic – for it was logical- and changed his plans? What if I hadn’t joined him dogged in his mission? Would we have met this passionate couple on the same path as ours? Would she and I have established comradery and excitement for a vision? Would Al have found a niche? Would Tim have….Well, would Tim have had opportunity to bless the lives of not one person tonight, but four?!

Surprised? A little blown away? Do you think God showed up? I sure do!

I can tell you that I do not know what this mission God gave us to do will look like in the end.  I have learned not to micro manage these things and not to over-plan and just to let God, through His Holy Spirit, guide our footsteps every single day. I do not know what it is going to look like, but I can guarantee you that God is in it, and whatever it looks like in the end, it will be great. Tonight was great. What more could we ask for when all we have is today?

We do hope for open book Bible studies with our new friends soon and a gathering place to worship together with them in the great outdoors, with exceedingly great flexibility without agenda or program, or titles. Just friends helping friends.

Oh yes, I should tell you about the live music! It didn’t happen. We did end up going to the park and meeting with more of our usual friends and receiving even more blessings. Blessings that left me in tears. But that is for another blog. But I will share with you- as a little preview- that it was dark as you know. I was sitting on the bench talking to “Patty” and another homeless man, Alfonso (the ex NFL football player), was on his usual bench next to us. Tim wanted to leave for a bit to see about some others nearby.

“Are you okay here by yourself, Kathleen, if I go over here a while?”

I am never afraid to be alone with the homeless when I am doing God’s work.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. You go ahead.”

But Alfonso stepped up, “Mr. Tim, you are a good man and you have my word that nothing will ever happen to your wife as long as I am around.”

Oh yeah, it went like that and it always does. And who needs the night life, when there is this kind of excitement going on?!

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Desire!

desire

When it comes to relationships:

A man has one great desire….to desire his woman….

A woman has one great desire…to be desired by her man……

Sounds like a simple concept doesn’t it?

Controversial?  I can see how that could happen.

Not believed?  I can also see how that could come about.

But how about you give me a minute?  I think I have an answer to a mystery here, but you have to walk with me a few steps….

We tend as a species, to be slightly opposite from the animal kingdom (I say slightly because it is not always the case, but predominantly so).  In the animal kingdom, it is the male who usually performs the outlandish attention getting schemes and presents himself in all of his colorful and outrageous glory toward the targeted female.   Now it is God’s nature in this design remember that.  God’s nature.  He put all of himself in everything he created.

In the human species, however, it is the female who, however subtle and crafted, attracts the attention of her male counterparts.

Agreed, human males are also known to strut their stuff in various ways, i.e, that six figure job, that red sports car, those amazing physical skills.

But ascetically, it is the woman who tends to please the eye more (men are slightly more visual in nature than women are)

It is the woman who primps her hair (for hours on end)

It is the woman who buys the shapely and figure flattering fabrics.

It is the woman who falls smitten and embarrassingly pesky.

It is the woman who paints her face with outrageous tones.

It is the woman who plans from girlhood her wedding day to prince charming.

You get where I’m going……

So with this in mind, let’s just dance briefly through a typical courtship:

She displays her feathers in all of their glory (like the male peacock in the animal world).  He does a double take.  She persists, with phone calls and “unexpected” encounters (yes, I know we’re pitiful), or purposeful ignoring (yes, guys we do that too).  Her every purchase and every thought is done with his observance in mind.  Every clever thought, action, and kindness seems less rewarding without him there to impress.  She hangs on his every word, and aches when he isn’t around.  And an amazing thing happens…he feels all of these vibes and vibrates right back all of his amazingness into her world… and so is the enchantment of a love affair!

It’s how we are wired, the woman to be desired, the man to desire.  It’s how God designed us.

Want to know how I know?

Watch your relationship.  Are things a little dull?  The touching not so frequent?  The pizzazz seeming to wane at times?  When this happens we tend to blame each other:  He’s not making me feel like a woman.  He’s too brash, not attentive and taking me for granted.  She’s not giving me what I need, She used to be so sexy and so admiring of me, she doesn’t back me up.

Here’s the deal.  Why did it stop?  (talking to the ladies now)….When did you stop feeling sexy? Desirable?  Did you know you can’t get into romance or sex if you don’t feel sexy?  It’s true!  Women have to feel sexy, desirable, and brilliant (there is a whole lot more to being desirable than looks by the way) –  measuring up to her own standards first!  Desirable, not just to her mate, but to everyone else (Of course only your mate gets what you have, but you still have to feel that it would be worthy of anyone).  When you let yourself get run down…(don’t take care of your hair, don’t  take care of your priorities, convictions, and beliefs….how can you expect someone else to admire you if you don’t even admire yourself?), is when you will notice things aren’t quite as bright as they used to be in your relationship.  So get cracking and start feeling sexy again!  (You know you’d do it if you were in a new relationship).  Observe all of these things and tell me if I am wrong.

And guys?  Did you leave your dreams at the door?  Drop them off in a knapsack when you said “I do?”   What’s up with that?  Your woman’s best asset is to get behind you and to believe along with you- to strengthen you.  To stand behind you and be freaking, stomping, proud of you and the things you have, and will, accomplish!  And when did you stop telling her that her eyes are a beautiful array of various colors?  (they still are aren’t they?), a little compliment to a woman goes miles and miles (remember this is our greatest desire- to be desired, and your greatest desire is to desire your woman!), and why do you keep telling her there isn’t enough money for a hair style, lingerie, or a new dress?   Give a little on a few of these cosmetic extras and watch her self esteem soar and your bedroom sizzle up! (girls don’t go overboard when finances are an issue, it doesn’t take much to look better).

Observe, and tell me if I am wrong!

I Live At the Beach Now

I live in a beach community in Florida now and I LOVE it.

I am glad I have the beach as my forever home, and Canada (my homeland) to visit in the summers still. I feel blessed

tyndall4pants2pants11pants4

Letting Go

When someone dies, there is a period of disbelief. It is a hard thing to accept and our psyche fights against the idea with a tenacity that might be inspiring if not for the unhappy ending.
It is the same with letting go.
And the interesting part is that the healing will never begin if we can’t come to grips with and ACCEPT the death. Accept the fact that we will never see our loved one, this side of heaven, again.
And in the same way, there has to be an acceptance of the inevitable in letting go. Here, time is our friend and patient teacher. And likewise, we must become patient in letting him pass.
And a healthy grieving will one day give way to sunshine breaking through the darkened clouds. And we can sing. And our song is new; wiser, deeper, and somehow more beautiful.
When it’s time to let go, and we are ready, we hand it over to Him. The Lover of our soul. The Rain Maker and the Cloud Breaker.
I marvel always at Your Beauty, Your Peacefulness, and the many ways you replenish all the aching souls. Because You. Are. Joy, My Lord. You are Joy.

lettng go

Come Home to The Good

There is going to come a day when your life is going to derail.

derailedYou’re going to mess up a little and lose your center.  The conditions are going to be right to topple you. It happens to the best of humanity and I don’t envy anyone who is going through it. I am in the throes of it myself, even as I write.

And we’re not alone, you and I. The best that life has churned out can, and do, lose their way from time to time.

Just to list a few examples:

• The Prodigal Son
• Simon, named Peter
• Rahab
• The Samaritan Woman
• Jonah
• Gideon
• Samson
• King David
• Elijah
• Saul of Tarsus

And then, too, there are the private stories in every life that never make it into the pages of any book. The folly, the humiliation, the redemption, the victory.

Not everyone who falls rises again, however. Not everyone who slides down a slippery slope knows enough to climb back up on the side of the slope that is dry. And it’s a tough uphill walk. But the falling was easy-effortless and speedy. The climb back up, however, is painstaking and deliberate. It requires tenacity, discipline and character to make it all the way back to the summit.

tobaggan3But before any of that can happen, there must first be a humbling.

Because you might assume that you haven’t truly fallen in the first place. Or you might reason that you were blindsided-caught off guard. And maybe you were. You can say that the whole situation is ridiculously unfair. And maybe it is. You can blame it on circumstance, fate, or destiny.

But no matter your reasoning, there you are at the bottom of the hill. And you know you’re at the bottom of the hill.

Maybe it’s addiction that sent you there. Maybe it’s a relationship or an unfulfilled desire. Maybe it’s the result of chasing after money, or a misguided desire for the approval of man.

But no matter what it is/was, here is what I can tell you. It threatened and then overthrew the Lord- from His throne- in your life, didn’t it?

Somewhere along the way you lost your footing. Somewhere along the way Abba, Father was reduced to a distant memory. Where there once was an adoring couple, now one has departed- estranged from the Faithful One who still holds out His loving hands.

And you miss Him. But you also want what you want. So you drink from the fountain of addiction. You sup at table of your lover. You scheme one last scheme for that big deal. You flash one more move for your adoring fans. And you make an executive decision: You can have both. Why not? Once this settles down and you get what you want- THEN you’ll go back to your Original Lover. The Lover of your soul.

But you never get what you want, do you? You are never fully satisfied. And what you don’t realize is that you will never be satisfied, ever again, until you forsake the one and cling to The Other.

Recently I was in the fog. Deep in the fog. Oh, I did try to get out. Several times. I even offered up some fairly pious prayers. I made feeble attempts at reduction. But I didn’t know any long-term victory because my heart wasn’t fully in it. I wanted what I wanted. I wasn’t willing to let it go. My love for my Lord became secondary to that which I wanted.

Until the day that I became sick with longing for my Original Lover Whom I began to miss with all my heart.

As a child, my faith was as full as it was astonishing. I moved many mountains. I simply believed, and I only saw HIM. Little else distracted me or pried me away from His loving embrace.

But, now, I knew the journey back home was just too far. I knew I couldn’t make it on my own. And as I looked back, I had to admit that our affair started losing purity in various ways through a period of many years.

….Until that beautiful day when I finally fell on my knees and uttered the most genuine prayer that I had spoken in years, “Help me, please. I miss You. Please help me.” And then I cried….sobbed….right there at His breast.

woman praying3And it was the simplest prayer that I had ever said in my life. But the most heartfelt. The most earnest and….the most humbling. I was acknowledging to Him that this thing was bigger than me, and it meant more than all of the pious attempts at prayer that went before. And I knew it did. I felt the faith go out from me. I knew that it could not come back void.

And in the days that followed, it began….

I picked up my Bible. I began to fall deeply in love with my Original Lover all over again. I talked to Him in prayer about everything. I stopped trying to walk through everything on my own. Haughty is the heart that reasons, “I got this!” Foolish is the lamb who wanders away from the Shepherd. Lost is the sailor without a Compass. Dead is the branch no longer connected to the Vine.

He carried me out of the storm one step at a time. He showed me where to put my feet on the craggy rocks.

He goes before me. I follow.

I’m still following. And each day my gait is a little stronger. The light is beginning to open up again. The path is illuminated. I can feel His hand in mine. Safe within the fold, I sing- and relax- and see all of life beautiful. Innocent, like a child, I’m rejoicing. Not perfect. Not fully pure. Fully human and fallible. But I’m on my way home. I’m climbing that hill. I can see the summit.

summit climb1And you can get there too. Your love for Him has to exceed and supersede your love for your addiction, your lover, your desire, and the pride of life. And when you want victory bad enough, ask Him for it. Ask Him to guide you back home. And because He is faithful to His promises- because He loves you- He will do it. Lay it at His feet. Leave it at His throne. And then Wait. For. It. It’s Friday, but Sunday’s a comin’!!

“Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.” I John 2:15-17

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” James 4: 8

Summer Solstice – Wayne Kirkpatrick

It must have been the summer solstice
When I first gave my heart to You
The first day of a brand new season
In a fevered passion for Your simple truth
It was the longest I’d ever felt for anything
And it gave my soul a song to sing.

It must have been my adolescence
That pulled me from my childlike faith
But what I thought to be maturity
Was just neglect that I tried to vindicate
And I went drifting on the wind like the autumn leaves
But when I fell I landed on my knees.

So can You throw Your arms around me and walk me home
I’ve wandered off way too far for way too long
And standing broken in this wilderness of shame
I have found my only strength is in your name
Oh, Father please can You undo what I’ve done
And get me back to square one.

I never saw that blizzard coming
Just woke up and ice was on the ground
And there were times this beating heart of pride
Was so stubborn it refused to make a sound
But now I’m feeling so out of my element
Frozen in the winter of my discontent.

So can You throw Your arms around me and walk me home
I’ve wandered off way too far for way too long
And standing broken in this wilderness of shame
I have found my only strength is in your name
Oh, Father please can You undo what I’ve done
And get me back to square one.

And with the spring comes the thaw
Melting my heart reviving all
It comes full circle and then
It’s summer solstice again.

So can You throw Your arms around me and walk me home
I’ve wandered off way too far for way too long
And standing broken in this wilderness of shame
I have found my only strength is in your name
Oh, Father please can You undo what I’ve done
And get me back to square one.